The one who somehow hated it when kids made a ruckus in the
apartment’s path ways. The one who would point out that kids playing in the
lawn would destroy the grass. The one who made it their business to make sure
any kids who laughed too hard or screamed while playing was reprimanded for
destroying the peace of the community. To them, kids were the worst things that
ever existed. I sometimes wondered why they were so nasty. Did they not enjoy
playing as children? Did they not have kids, grand kids, nephews or
nieces? I never found out answers to
these questions.
The good part - along with that one or two nasty neighbors,
there were also quite a few really good adults who would back the kids up in
everything they wanted to do. Play in the newly planted grass- of course! Why
not? Loud games till late in the night during the summer vacation- well, that’s
what summers are for. Play cricket in the middle of all the buildings and break
a few window panes- nobody ever grew up without breaking a window - pane or
two.
Those were our favorite kind of adults. The ones we aspired
to be like, the ones we still are in touch with. They shaped our personalities
almost as much as our parents did. The role models, the people we reminisce
about after moving away from home and living our own adult lives. The ones we
still reminisce about when we get together with old friends. The ones whose
friend requests we accept on Facebook even though we aren’t really
friends.
They are the ones we sometimes miss. The ones who were a
part of the unspoken cult of the watchful parents who kept an eye out for all
the kids, making sure we stayed safe and on the right paths. The ones we
sometimes secretly hated for being an extra set of parents that we didn’t
really feel we needed. The ones who were proof that “It takes a village to
raise a child” held true and they stayed true to the unspoken parent pledge.
And then suddenly you are a grown up yourself. With choices
to make, kids of your own to bring up, communities to nurture and lawns to
protect. So, who do you choose to be? The nasty neighbor or the cool adult? I
think there’s a bit of both in everybody. Almost makes me want to say yin and yang.
Some days you have the patience to be the cool adult who is
the favorite of all the neighborhood kids, the one who kids give hugs to, the
one who they are comfortable sharing their little trials and tribulations with,
the one who they beg to teach them new dance moves to choreograph a dance for a
cultural show. Honestly though, sometimes its too much pressure to be that
person.
Having recently experienced a nasty neighbor for my own
kids, one who complained about parent not bringing up their kids well, not
teaching them good etiquette, raising spoilt kids who become entitled adults
etc. I realized there’s a bit of both in everybody and I guess we need to
choose which one we display for the kids to see. I hope it’s more of the cool
adult than the nasty neighbor who everybody hates from their first encounter to
their last.
I tried to justify the bad behavior by attributing it to a
bad day, week or month but after a mental argument with myself I decided, the
person in question is an adult, insinuating 10-14 year olds of being spoilt
brats who don’t know how to conduct themselves in public and in the process
setting an example of the very behavior which he is condemning. And I laughed
out loud.
The irony of the situation took a while to hit me but when
it did, I laughed and finally understood, the nice adults from our childhood
always made the choice of presenting their best self to the young
impressionable kids and in the process gave us role models and that’s what I
remembered and that is what I emulated. That my dear friends, is hopefully what
our kids will also end up doing as adults.
So, please strive to be the nice friendly neighborhood
adults and refrain from letting the nasty neighbor in you from surfacing. The
reward will come when your friend request gets accepted by a happy 20 year old
who remembers you as one of their favorite adults while growing up!!!
