No, this is not about the movie. And it is not about the
“desi” remake of the original either but I will shamelessly plagiarize the
title because it is very apt for this post. It is an account of my “first”
experience travelling in India. Travel in the US is either by plane or by car
so I had pretty much forgotten how train travel feels like. I spent a lifetime
travelling in trains, a lot of it without a reservation but it is strange how
quickly you forget things and places you thought you knew like the back of your
hand. As for buses, I had only travelled by an inter-city bus one time back in
1998 so obviously my experience was outdated and I didn’t know what to expect.
I went to visit family in Delhi and this one was by air. The
journey was fairly predictable but the one thing I noticed is that the airports
in Delhi and Bangalore are very nice. The ride to the Bangalore airport is a
different story. With real estate within established cities sky rocketing and
the need for bigger better airports rising, the cities had no choice but to
build new airports outside city limits. Much like our very own DFW a few years
back. It takes me an over an hour to reach the Bangalore airport when there is
no traffic which is only at about 2:00 in the morning. At all other times, it
takes close to 2 hours to get there. So, air travel is only for places that are
not accessible via road or train. Other than the time it took to get to the
airport (god forbid you forget something at home) travel via an airplane is
pretty much the same as the US although I think the service is a little better
in India.
The next trip was to Chennai to visit a friend which was
close enough for a train. I could only get a reservation while going there so I
decided to take a bus on my way back. It
was a 4 hour trip so I thought how bad can it really be? DH was a little
worried but I put up my brave face and even though I was freaking out inside, I
kept saying I would be fine. The train station is less than 12KM from home but
as expected it takes about two hours to get there in traffic. At 5:00 in the
morning with barely any traffic it took me all of 20 minutes!!!! Seemed like a
good start…
As soon as I got off the taxi, I was hounded by coolies even
though all I had with me was a small carry on! I ignored them and moved on. I
even got some catcalls saying “Madam, shatabdi?”and some other things which
thankfully were in Kannada and I didn’t quite understand. I started to get a
little scared but I wasn’t going to chicken out and go back so into the station
I went. Imagine my horror when all the boards showed up in Kannada only!!!! I
felt like an illiterate person trying to find their way. After the cat calls I
was also unwilling to ask anybody for directions. Thankfully the display
changed to English within a few minutes and I was able to figure out the
platform.
The “angrez” in me kept looking for escalators. I wasn’t
trying to be snooty or anything but I guess my brain is conditioned to look for
escalators every time I am lugging around a suitcaseJ. Finding the platform number
was an adventure in itself. I was expecting something like Nagpur, Hyderabad and
New Delhi stations but sadly the signs at Bangalore station were not very easy
to find. The cat calls earlier and stares from everybody who passed weren’t
helping boost my confidence either.
Now if you are a woman who grew up in India, you develop a
sort of defense mechanism which lets you ignore all the cat calls, stares,
comments that you encounter while walking on the street, travelling by public
transport or at any other public place. You sort of become immune to it unless
it is extremely bad. I found that my defense mechanism was still in place and
it finally kicked in J.
As I neared my platform, I suddenly heard something about
the shatabdi express over the public address system and surprise, they had
changed the platform! It felt like I was living in one of those comedy
sequences in a movie where anything that could go wrong does go wrong but ‘all
is well’ in the end. At least I heard the announcement at the right time so I
didn’t go to the wrong platform and get into the wrong train. That would have
been a disaster!
I got to the platform and into my seat without any more
adventures. The compartment was a pleasant surprise. I think Indian railways
got a makeover since the last time I travelled in a train. The train had nice
seats, neat aisles and even a television in the compartment! I hadn’t been in a
train for over three years so I was not expecting any of this. The fare wasn’t
very high but it included bottled water and breakfast. That’s better than air
travel in the US!
I kept looking for a
seat belt even though I knew I was on a train. Muscle memory I guess J. Things were fine
until the entertainment started. They had music blaring out of the TV at 6:00
in the morning! I don’t think anybody got to take a nap after that point. The
worst part was the bathrooms. The less said the better! If you have been to
India and had the misfortune of experiencing a bathroom on a train, you know
what I am talking about!
I also had a very talkative middle aged person sitting next
to me who insisted on trying to engage me in a conversation in spite of the fact
that I was reading a book. He even told me that the bread was stale and advised
me not to eat it!! All I could say was thanks. I was sorely tempted to taste
the bread just to see how bad it was but this person stared at my food until he
was sure I was not going to eat the stale bread! It was funny to see some
stranger take such deep interest in my food. Other than the over zealous
breakfast snob and the loud entertainment forced on the entire compartment, the
journey was fairly comfortable!
The journey back was in a bus no less. DH’s friends at work
had suggested a state transport AC bus. Very good they said, very comfortable
they said. Liars! Even my friend’s driver was surprised I was travelling via state
transport bus and not a private bus! My experience with intercity buses was
very limited and the one time I did travel, the guy sitting in the seat behind
me tried “something” so I actually stood up in my seat and beat him up. Not
kidding, true story, I actually hit him very hard. I am proud of that but in
retrospect that probably was not a very smart thing to do on an overnight bus
when I was travelling alone.
I got to the bus station without any problems but once
inside I couldn’t figure out which platform the Bangalore bus left from. The
signs were in tamil, kannada and telugu. Some were in English but as luck would
have it the one I needed to read didn’t have an English translation! (Kicked
myself mentally for never learning to read and write in Telugu!)It was broad
daylight so I wasn’t afraid to ask for directions and after making a few wrong
turns arrived at my bus. The good part, I had an e-ticket that the conductor
verified on my mobile phone. Technology has touched every part of life in
India! The bad part, the seats were old and the bus not very comfortable. I
wanted to kick the person who recommended it. Especially after I saw one of the
private buses! They were so good, it was like watching somebody eat chocolate
ice-cream while you were stuck with a popsicle! I called DH and told him NEVER
to book a ticket on a state transport bus again and to follow travel advice
with caution! The worst part was that there was barely any fare difference
between the two! Lesson learnt- when in doubt; go with a private bus service.
The saving grace was that there weren’t too many people on
the bus so the seat next to me was empty. The ride itself was another story. I
don’t understand why entertainment during public transport has to consist of
bad movies played at a deafening volume but that is what I was subjected to for
the 4 hours on the bus. I had my iPad but I had to set it at a deafening level
to hear it over the din of the movie. That movie affected me so much I still
remember it in painful detail! It was quite possibly the worst movie I EVER
saw. I do have to say that the freeway was very well maintained and the ride
was pretty smooth. I think next time I will take a private bus though. One word
of caution if you are travelling by bus in India- DO NOT drink any water.
Enough said.
Even with all the craziness involved with travelling by bus
or train, I would say the journey is far more interesting that getting on a
plane. There is a lot more to see and it makes for very good writing material
:P
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